Does the way you think make you happy

How do you respond to that question is it “Yes”  “No” or “What do you mean I don’t have a choice—I just think”

 Do you believe that you can change the way you think?

 You can ------your thoughts are yours but they are not YOU


Thoughts are fairly randomly generated electrical impulses from the brain, they draw bits and pieces of your knowledge, interests, fears, concerns, wishes and throw up things for you to consider.

So what you do with ---or about those thoughts  is unique to you. The choices of what you do are limited by  what you have learned previously. The thought of “Wouldn’t it be fun to jump off  / into/ through  something “ is limited by your knowledge of potential consequences. But that process can work against you

How many times has a thought come to you ----- why don’t you…..” and your automatic resposnse has been  along the lines of What me—I couldn’t possibly,  people like me don’t do that, I wouldn’t be allowed, people wouldn’t like it--- dozens of negative, self limiting phrases. In reality no one is stopping you --- you are stopping you---- because of the way you think


If there was a way to change that thinking --- what possibilities could appear ---- what might you discover that you want to do--- what you could do ---- what you will do?


I changed my mind


Really??     You were going for a latte but decided on espresso ?   WOW


Get big


Get a job/ education/ life




Get the skills --- because the people with the life you want are just like you except they know how to get what they  want and they don’t recognise the idea that   they cant achieve whatever it is they want.


If as a kid you were with loads of other kids that all swam you would think swimming was normal, you would learn from them so that you could continue to be part of the group.

If you lived far from the sea or pool, never went swimming with  friends swimming would be irrelevant to you  because no one you knew did it.


Move on a few years you watch Splash on T.V.  loads of famous people diving and swimming, how come they can do that, you don’t know anyone that could even attempt that--- maybe you feel you’d like to be able to do that, maybe you feel that it is something for others but not people like you.

Do you see how your choices are limited by what you believe about your world and your place in it?

Go on – say it--- “I”m being realistic I could never do that”


Reality is something that each of us construct--- yes that’s right--- we each construct our own reality--- what we think about anything is based on our personal experience and that is unique--- true there are people with  some similar experiences.

Probably you disagree but consider this : You stand  in the middle of a park and look around. A stranger stands 2 meters away also looking around.  You look around feeling the cold air, worrying that a dog will come out of the trees and bite you, you don’t know where you are, you hope someone will come and lead you back home to the warmth.

The other person relishes the crisp cool air on their skin, it invigorates them and makes them feel alive, they are remembering playing here as a child  and think how much smaller the park looks and how much bigger the trees have grown, they have wanted to come back here for so long and love recapturing the  atmosphere of the past.

Reality--- whose reality--- is one  truer than the other--- one less real?  They have formed their reality based on the information that they have gathered and added that to past knowledge and experience. They may be making suppositions based on all or some of that information, the choices they make are unique to each of them --- but each will assure you that theirs is reality—a true  and provable representation of themselves in that place at that time. One of them feels comfortable and would happily wander round, try things, look at other parts of the park. One would stay put in the hope that someone would come and find them—not going anywhere in case they got more lost.

When we are stressed we close down—become blinkered---limit our choices. The effect on us of this is that we are unhappy, frustrated which is the next turn of the downward spiral --- the less you feel able to do the less you feel inclined to do or try.

Mindfulness helps you to look at these issues, to see if , when and how changes might be made.

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© Martin Williams 2015